Thank-you Note after State Dinner?

Savvy people know that after you have enjoyed the hospitality at a dinner party, the proper thing to do is to write a thank-you note to the hostess (or host is there wasn't a hostess). But, what if you are invited to the White House for a State Dinner? Do you send a thank-you note to the President? to Mrs. Bush? Do you send a thank-you at all?

Too often a dinner party is held and the guests have a marvelous time, enjoying the food, entertainment, enticing conversation and then go home and tell everyone what a great time they had. Why would anyone think that the host or hostess wouldn't want to hear that? If you were the host, would you not want your guests to express their appreciation of the event and their involvement? I dare say that you would. BUT, it would be my guess that the guest of honor and escort (in this case, Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Phillip) may be the only ones to send a thank-you.

If you have been a host, you know that there is a great deal of work involved in executing a simple dinner party. Imagine having to execute a white-tie affair. If I had been lucky enough to have been invited, I would have sent a messenger (I live in the Washington, DC metropolitan area) with my handwritten appreciation to the First Lady and to the Office of the Social Secretary of the White House this morning - first thing. A lot of work and worry went into staging such a lovely evening and while the gratitude of the guests as they left is nice, nothing beats knowing that at least one guest appreciated the efforts enough to put pen to paper.

It's a new beginning...

Happy New Year to all who read this. Due to a family tragedy last September I have been lax in keeping up with my intent to write in this blog and to share my thoughts about the state of rudeness in our society. While the grieving process takes time, I am dedicated again to paying attention to it and writing more often.

Recently I decided to sign up for Google alerts for the words etiquette and business etiquette. I am heartened to see that the subject is written about every day and many times a day at that. Though a certain percentage of the articles and blog posts are about bathroom etiquette (it really must be bad out there), it is nice to see that the general printed media have taken it upon themselves to alert the public that etiquette is not only an interesting subject but one that sells papers. The growth of our "industry" of teaching manners and proper business methods has, in my opinion, stemmed from the increase in media coverage. If you read the word enough times, perhaps it may stick in your mind as a worthy consideration.

Another thought for today. How many of you received thank you notes for the gifts you gave to others during the holidays? Did you receive them by email? by text message? or by a handwritten note with an envelope and stamp? I sent a gift to a young cousin (age 24) last holiday which was never acknowleged by her. Instead her mother sent a handwritten note to me thanking me in her stead. Taken aback by the mother's gesture and wanting to see if anything was wrong, I called for a chat. I was informed that her daughter thought that she would say thank you to me the next time she saw me. (I haven't seen her since she was 12 and don't have any plans to visit the state where she lives) Funny that having an etiquette maven in the family doesn't encourage the impetus for good manners. Her mother on the other hand fully understands the need for acknowledgement of a gift and its good will. We have a lot of work to do!